Coping with a tragic event
A tragic event affects all members of the community.
It is important to know about possible reactions to such events, how to
look after yourself, and how to help others.
The following information may help you to deal effectively with your
reactions.
What to Expect
A tragic event is usually unexpected and may involve loss of life, and
a threat to life or welfare. Under these circumstances it is normal
for most people to have an intense reaction. Some typical reactions
are listed below.
Shock
Disbelief, numbness, feelings of unreality, difficulty comprehending what
has happened.
Body reactions
Tensions, trembling, a sick stomach, weakness, tension, loss of
appetite, sweating and tiredness.
Thoughts
Confusion, difficulty concentrating, inability to think clearly, plan
or remember simple things, can't stop thinking about what happened and
remembering other tragic things that may have happened in your life.
Images
Flashbacks, keep imagining what happened, details stick in the memory
and won't go away.
Emotions
Fear, horror, sadness, irritability, anger, looking for someone to
blame, apathy, can't get motivated, loss of energy, helplessness, no
longer feel safe anywhere, rapid changes of emotion from one extreme to
another.
Behaviour
Highly aroused, can't settle down, sleep disturbed by dreams and
nightmares about the incident, want to drink alcohol, smoke or eat more.
Attitudes
Bitterness, pessimism, feelings of blame, feelings of guilt at
surviving or not being there, feelings of failure, how you could have done
something, question why it happened, and what life has to offer now.
Social
Want to avoid people or don't want to be alone, irritability and
intolerance, feel no one understands, can't stop talking about the event
or can't bear to talk about it.
These are all normal, common reactions that happen to people in any
kind of tragic event and are an attempt to adjust to what has
happened. It is unusual for people not to have of these reactions
for some time after the event.
How to look after yourself
- Keep in touch with people you are comfortable with and know well.
- Don't fight the reactions. Let them work through and they will
usually subside.
- Keep talking about the tragic event when you need to and express the
changing feelings as they arise.
- Eat small, well balanced meals regularly even if you don't feel much
like it.
- Use physical exercise to work off the tension.
- Allow yourself time to come to terms with the event. Don't
force the pace as it can take time.
- Try relaxation exercises, especially deep breathing to settle
yourself down.
- Take time off if you need to sort out what has happened.
How to look after others
- Stay with people affected by the traumatic event while they are
distressed, but don't crowd them.
- Try to provide help to people who request it, but help them so they
feel they can be in control when they want to be.
- Listen as long as people want to talk. Letting people go over
the event will help.
- Remind them to look after themselves physically - to eat, rest and
sleep.
- Reassure them about safety and security.
- Help people with simple practical tasks. These may be
difficult to cope with for people who are deeply affected.
- Don't react personally to people's anger or other feelings.
Let them express their feelings and get it all out.
- Don't try to make light of the situation or talk people out of their
reactions. It takes time to recover.
When to seek help
It is important to know that reactions to trauma can often be more
intense and last longer than people expect. Because it is so
unusual, people may not understand what is happening to them.
If you:
- can't handle intense reactions or feelings,
- are worried by physical symptoms,
- have no one to talk to, or
- your feelings continue to be numb or overactive then
professional help is advisable to prevent future problems and to help
you take charge of your won recovery. If you are worried, continue
to feel upset, or want to talk to someone, don't wait until you are not
coping; see someone as soon as possible. Often family and fiends are
the best judges of when help is needed.
Prevent is better than cure.
We hope this information helps. We are committed to continuing to
provide ongoing support and assistance.
Where to seek help
- Family and friends
- General Practitioner
- Lifeline
- Victims of Crime Service
- Local Community Health Centre
- Local Hospital
- Local Church Group
- Employee Assistance Programs
- Critical Incident Stress Management Program (Emergency Services
Personnel only)
Information for this leaflet has kindly been provided by the
Victoria Department of Health and Community Services.
This Webpage content by Department of Health and Human Services.
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